The Sound of Waves

Not good. This. Was. Not. Good. Anxiety flooded her system, and depression overwhelmed her mind. Shit. She hated this, but most importantly, she hated when this happened here, in the comfort, the safety of Dante's apartment. Astrid wiped the tear and the running makeup from her face and got up off the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. Peering at her face, she groaned softly, and splashed cold water on her pale, mascara stained cheeks. Gotta hurry, though. She knew Dante was waiting for her, and if she took any longer, he'd get concerned, start asking questions. Make-up was dutifully reapplied, and she slipped back into the living room. "Sorry about that."

He looked at her carefully, noting the way her eyes were slightly red in the corners and her sudden pallor. "It's okay.." Still watching her, a frown now creasing his forehead. "It's your turn." He gestured to the Scrabble on the coffee table, then thought better. "Unless you're not in the mood anymore."

Normal. Things were okay now, she had her cry, she was done with this. But something deep inside her remained unsettled and discontent. An inaudbile sniffle as she sat back down, and shook her head. "No, we can still play." Exhaling softly, she looked at her letters, then those on the board. Only one word she could put down, really, and it still wasn't enough to catch up to his score. The wrter was having an off night! Slowly, but surely, she placed down the letter L in front of an open A, then K, then E.

Dante made a small noise, something between nostalgic yearning and concern. He said, "I haven't been to a lake or any body of water in a long time. Once it gets warm we should hit a beach." Still watching her carefully, for any sign of.. anything, really. She was hiding something, he knew it.

"I know." She sounded almost mournful as she spoke. "I don't want to wait until it gets warm." Elbows on her knees, she rested her chin in her palms, and stared down glumly at the board. The adrenaline and anxiety have been flushed away by her tears, but she still felt melancholy, and she couldn't explain why. In fact, she really just looked ... wilted, more than anything.

"You okay?" He asked finally, no longer at all interested in the game. He had had his day yesterday, and it seemed today was hers. Still, he wasn't used to seeing her so... empty.

"..." She didn't want to lie to him. She couldn't, in any case, she was terribly at hiding her emotions from him. So she buried her face deeper into her hands, fingers sinking into her hair and seizing handfuls. "Ugh. I don't know. No. I'm not. I'm sorry." Her voice was soft, muffled.

"Hey, hey." He moved closer to her and slung an arm around her, almost afraid to pull her any closer. "What's wrong? Talk to me?"

Astrid sniffled, restaining the urge to cry again. "I don't know what's wrong. I just .. I don't know. I don't want to be here right now. I want to go outside. I want to be near water, something, anything." She looked miserable, the poor thing.

The male "I'll fix it!" instinct kicked on, and Dante pulled her to her feet. "Okay, sure. Where do you want to go?" He'd drive all day and night if he had to, sure!

Whoa! She hadn't expected that, and blinked as he pulled her up. "Really? .." More blinking ensued, as she tilted her head to the side, eyes wide. " .... I'll give you some gas money if we can drive to Lake Michigan." She knew just where on the beach to go, too, where no one would be at this time of the evning.

He waved a hand impatiently. "I just got paid. Let's go." He pulled her into the bedroom and rummaged around in his closet. A moment later he held up a couple of blankets, a lantern, and two thick parkas, each in turn. "I can bring a Thermos full of soup, too, if you want."

She hadn't expected all this fuss, and she stood there, still blinking in mild confusion. "Uhm ... if you want. That sounds good ..." Her arms looped around her own waist, as if trying to keep herself warm; never mind the blazing heat in Dante's apartment. Watching him collect the blankets, the lantern, the coats - it was all very sweet, and a small smile touched her lips. His enthusiasm was infectious.

He smiled back, then hurried into the kitchen. He had a couple cans of Campbell's chicken noodle, and held these up for her approval, calling her into the small kitchen.

She was quick to follow, pulling on one of the parkas. "That's fine." Astrid was slowly starting to get excited -- the idea of the lake, the beach, even in the cold, cheered her right up.

The soup was heated and everything gathered into a large backpack--the same one he had used for their hiking expedition some time back, when their relationship had been young and just beginning--and then he had car keys in his hand. "Ready?"

"Ready." She smiled up at him, and led the way, opening the door for him; briefly taking the keys from his hand to lock the door, and shooing him off to the car. She followed, a few beats behind, but looked significantly happier already at the prospect of water - real, untouched, flowing water.

He opened the car door for her and then went around to his own side, starting it before he was fully in. Her excitement was catching; suddenly he wanted to be at the lake more than anything else. He started driving, keeping his speed up. "Is it just that? Just wanting to see the water?" He snuck glances at her while he got onto the highway.

She was looking out the window as they drove. "I don't know ... just ... something tells me that I'll feel a lot better ... if I'm near it. To see it, to hear it, to smell it ..." Astrid had read somewhere that all water signs had that need; that water refreshed, rejuvenated them, put them back on track. And she did find running water relaxing; more often than not, she found herself standing in the bathroom at work, letting the water from the sink running over her hands to relax her frazzled nerves.

If she had said that out loud, to Dante, he would have asked her what in hell helped soothe Tauruses. So far he could only think of one thing, and he didn't think she'd approve of it.

"All right," was all he said, taking her hand in his right hand, steering with his left.

Well, with his thirst for alcohol, he may as well have been a Pisces! Her small hand was cold in his warm palm, but her fingers locked over his, gave a reassuring squeeze. The closer they got to Chicago, the better she felt. Fortunately it was late enough to the point where rush-hour traffic had come and gone; they were flying, and it felt wonderful. "Get off at the next exit ... follow the road all the way down. It'll end at the beach." She closed her eyes.

"'Kay," he said, and did just that. The road was quiet--nice. He turned on the radio and the Beatles were on, a tune he knew but couldn't name. At least he knew it was the Beatles. Relaxing. Soothing. He risked a glance at his girlfriend to see how she was doing. They were almost there.

Astrid was okay - she appeared to be sleeping, but every now and again, her eyes would flicker open to look at their surroundings, check the road. Once the buildings around them thinned out to spacious residental homes and side streets, she sat up with a small smile, zipping up her coat. "Oh, good. We're here." The road curved, but she pointed out a space alongside the curb for him to park.

He ran around the other side, opened her door, and grabbed the backpack from the back seat. "Any particular spot in mind?" He put the backpack on, adjusting the straps, and turned the lantern on.

She got out of the car, and waited for him to get situated before she took his hand. "Uh huh. C'mon." She led him into the sand, and close to the lake. The night by the water was cool, perhaps around 40 degrees, or maybe a little less. Chicagons understood the lake effect. She led him to a spot near a cluster or monolithic boulders that jutted high from the sand, sheilding them from view in case Officer Friendly drove by on his rounds. "Here." She unzipped the backpack, and pulled out one of the blankets, laying it down. The shore was 10 feets away, and she stared longingly at it, mouth fixed.

"Go ahead," Dante said, seeing where her gaze ended. "I'll be right here." If she wanted him with her, she'd say so. Otherwise.. This was probably something she wanted to do alone.

"You can come, if you like." But she wouldn't object to going alone. She sat down on the blanket, and untied her shoes, pulled off her socks, and rolled the bottoms of her jeans up. Slanting her gaze up at him, she offered him a smile as she got back up, and made her way to the shore. Stepping into the frigid water - she didn't move, though she shivered. The lake was icy, it may as well have been frozen, but she waded out just a little further. Her thin body dropped in a cautious crouch, her hands cupped to capture the water, to smell it, feel it seep into her skin.

Dante watched her, wishing he'd brought towels. She's going to catch a cold, he thought, shaking his head. For whatever reason though, she needed it, needed the water bad enough to touch it, even though it had to be less than 30 degrees. He shivered, just thinking about it. She'd never get him to set foot in there. He would walk up to it, though.

He followed her, hanging back just a few feet, the breeze rifling through his hair. It was pretty calm, for a lake on a winter's night. Wanting to say something, Dante chose to keep his mouth shut, instead. She'd talk to him if she wanted to. All he could do was be there.

She let the water trickle through her fingers, and slowly rose, staring out into the distance. It was clear out, but the stars were masked by the bright lights of the city. She felt him walk up behind her, but did not move, did not speak. Not just yet. Her eyes closed, and she stood there, calm, peaceful - it was wonderful, every last bit of it. After several long minutes, she turned to him, and walked back up, reaching out to touch his hand. "Look." She pointed to her right, to the partial view of Chicago's skyline, all clear, and lit up. "Isn't i t beautiful?"

He looked. "Yeah," he said, distracted by his worry for her catching a cold. "C'mon, let's get you dried off, huh?"

Even if she caught cold, it was worth it. She was captivated by the beauty of the city, but smiled at his concerned. "You worry too much. All this Nordic blood in me prevents me from getting cold." A little nudge, but she complied, finally stepping out of the water, and walking back to the blanket, sitting back down.

He shook his head at her, wishing he'd brought one of those fire logs that burnt all night. They could have had a fire, and he wouldn't be so worried. He doubted he could get her back to the car so soon. And, of course, the very male and testosterone-filled part of him like having her here on the beach, alone. Especially when there were two blankets and a bunch of sand to roll around in... He sat down next to her and kissed the tip of her nose. His breath came out in little puffs and he kissed her again, this time on the cheek. "So."

They came so far! But she used the furthest corner of the blanket to dry her feet and hands, and reluctantly put her socks and shoes back on. The water was still nearby, and the sound of the waves was relaxing. "Thank you, Dante ..." She looked at him, then kissed him square on the mouth. "I really appreciate this." And she meant that. Completely.

"Why, no problem," he said, surprised. He hadn't known it had meant that much to her. Did the water really have that calming of an effect on her? He made a note to ask her about it later. For the moment, he had other business to attend to. He kissed her back and pulled her close, wrapping the other blanket around them.

She snuggled against him, drawn to his warmth, coiling in his arms, and closing her eyes. She listened to him breath, the sound of the water lapping the shore, and she was at peace. All the sadness, anxiety, fear had drained from her, and she felt rested, boneless. The most important thing to her, though, was that he was there to share this moment with her, to see the water, to hear it, and to just be.